How To Succeed At The Office
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First place this on your boss's
desk!!
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Are you looking for an easy way to make a living? Would you like job
security, work at your own pace, do only the jobs that you enjoy, have lots of
days off with pay, and be the envy of the office? Then this is for you. After
years of reading self-help books and listening to motivational tapes that
always let me down, I discovered the one and only true way to success at the
office.
- The #1 way to succeed at the office is to have an affair with your boss.
The benefits are endless.
Useless Office Skill #141
The Endless Fax
This stunt is guaranteed not to make you Employee of the Month,
you'll be greatly relieved to know.
Make two copies of a nice friendly message, like...
Tape them together. Feed them to your fax machine
and start sending. When the first sheet comes out, quickly
tape it to the second sheet to form a loop...
...and now go on a long vacation. See if anything interesting happens by the
time you get back.
Useless Office Skill #163
Telephone Songs
OH AND YES THEY DO WORK!!
This is for all of you frustrated musicians...who want to turn all of
us into frustrated listeners.
...You can play music on your phone by pressing the buttons on the top
(1,2,3)...and along the side (6,9,#). But don't play the 4,5,7,8,*, or 0.
They sound even worse than the others.
Happy Birthday
112163
112196
11#9632
969363 |
Auld Lang Syne
11113212
321139#
#9331212
321##91 |
Frere Jacques
12311231
369369
9#9631,9#9631
191,191 |
Mary Had a Little Lamb
3212333
222,399
3212333
322321
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Louie, Louie
111-66-999-66
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Help
911
911
911
911
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