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EBAY
Ok I know that you all have lurked on ebay even
though you wont admit to it. You can find everything in the world on
this site. So here is how it really works. You put up your junk for
sale of course your junk is the other mans gold. You find that
whats-a-callit you've been looking and the opening bid is $1.00. You
see that there is one day left on the auction that has been in
progress for 7 days. You Remark What Luck. Now you bid. Ebay uses
proxy bidding so they want you to put in your highest bid and the
computer will automatically bid for you. Well no one has bid on the
item and you must have it so you bid $25.00. Now the computer.
Congratulations your the high bidder at $1.00. The next thing you
know 8 people (Friends of the person whose auction it is who by the
way have a feedback rating of usually 0 to 5 or have sunglasses) now
start a bidding war. over the whats-a-callit and your bid is now
$25.00. So now You Must have the whats-a-callit so you
increase your bid to $40.00 But you are outbid. Now you have
decided that you would not bid any more and the auction ends. Mysteriously
1 day later you get an e-mail that says My High bidder backed out
would you like the whats-a-callit for $40.00. This is against
ebays rules but it is also business as usual. It's amazing how
rules become very flexible when commission are charged. Ebay makes
money on every trade. The only way to avoid the Business as usual is
to bid in the last 10 seconds of the auction by then you should know
if you really want the whats-a-callit or not and how much you want
to pay for it. Don't bid early you will always pay allot more. and
you will always be out bid by people with sunglasses or no feed
back.
Living In New Jersey
I live in one of the most affluent counties in jersey so of
course you know what that means. Yes I have money so I don't have to
have any sense or manners for that matter. The other day I walk into
the post office I am carrying a very large box there are 2 doors to
open to get in to the post office. you think out of the 8 people in
the post office one would open the door BUT NOOOOO! so I struggle in
and put the box down. Now the guy who was following me in who is
suffering from shrunken a cranium stands right next to my box and
says ARE YOU IN LINE? so I say NO NIMROD I JUST LIKE TO HAUL
AROUND MY BIG BOX ON SATURDAY AND HANG OUT AT THE POST OFFICE AND
LOOK AT THE WANTED POSTERS YOU JUST FOLLOWED ME IN WHAT THE FUCK DO
YOU THINK? so he says OH.
So I get to the counter with my box. the postmaster need's change
so I ask does any one have change of a ten. everyone looks at the
floor after a minute or so no one says a word so I say WELL IF
ANY OF YOU HAD CHANGE WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BUCK AND BUY YOUR SELF'S
A CLUE. everyone is so involved in there own little world that they
don't have a clue. Wait it gets better.
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We now pause briefly for a gratuitous Jersey
Girl Pose |
Now you know that the speed limit is 55 so that means every body
is driving 65 so of course it only goes to reason that if the posted
limit is 65 that means you can drive 75. so what sights do you see.
Well there is always some lady putting on eye makeup in the rear
view mirror as she's driving 2 inches from your bumper. Or how about
sal cell phone yea you know him he's driving in the middle lane 65
until his cell phone rings and of course he has to answer it because
it just might be important so what happens now Yea you guessed it
now he's driving 40 mph in 2 lanes yapping on the cell phone now you
know this nimrod wont pull over into the right lane yea this asshole
has to slow down all the traffic because he's the only one on the
road. well let me tell you when you see the words MACK in your
mirror you should know I have no problem sticking that bulldog on
the hood right up your ass. so if you want to talk on the phone stay
home, pull over, but get the fuck out of the middle lane.
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Just Remember the truck always wins |
Or how about mister Urban Adventure. yea you know this fucken
clown he's the one with the Jeep grand Cherokee or the lexis or the
Pathfinder or any other high end SUV doing 65 in the snow or rain
because he saw the commercial and he has 4 wheel drive. Next thing
you know this guys in a ditch or wrapped around a bridge piling.
" I don't know what happened officer I hit the brakes and the
truck wouldn't stop Yea no shit Sherlock
Or Johnny Hot Rod. this is the kid who hot rods a Honda puts on
the small tires and the exhaust system and lots of go fast stickers.
Now his Honda drives just like a BMW. Or how about MR. Saturday
Shopper who decides to stop in the middle lane so he can read the
sales on the windows of the stores so he doesn't have to pull in the
shopping plaza. and when he finds a place he wants to stop he always
has to cut across the three lanes of traffic.
Or Mister NY why does everyone from NY have to drive in the left
lane? and why cant you go faster then 45? and hey why do you have to
come to jersey to shop and fuck up the traffic for? what cant find
anything in the 18 million stores in Manhattan? and you wonder why
there's road rage
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