| New Beer Labels
Due to increasing products liability
litigation, American beer Brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion
that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer
containers
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is
a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
make you think you can logically converse with other members of the
opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you
getting your butt kicked.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary
(whose species and or name you can't remember).
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is
the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better
looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may
cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and
sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
This Safety warning has been brought to
you by:
Rheingold Beer. Helping Ugly People have Sex since 1895!
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